How to Win Your Unsaved Loved Ones
// Kenneth E. Hagin
ONE OF THE QUESTIONS most frequently asked of me is how to get unsaved loved ones saved. This is my advice to you.
First, realize that the Father draws people through the Holy Spirit. WHEN THE WORD OF GOD IS PREACHED, THE HOLY SPIRIT BRINGS CONVICTION UPON PEOPLE THROUGH THE WORD.
Jesus said, "No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day" (John 6:44).
Second, pray that God will send someone across your unsaved loved one's path. Jesus said in Matthew chapter 9, "Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he will send forth labourers into his harvest" (v. 38).
I don't believe, however, that there are any rules you can establish in soul-winning that will work for everyone. God might lead one person one way and another person another way. WE MUST ALWAYS BEAR IN MIND THE VITAL WORK OF THE HOLY SPIRIT IN DRAWING PEOPLE TO CHRIST.
Sometimes the members of your family are the most difficult people to deal with. They won't listen to you. Generally speaking, it is better for you not to try to deal with them. Now don't misunderstand me—sometimes the Spirit of God may lead you differently. I'm just laying down some general principles here.
How My Family Was Won
I was a teenager when I was born again. Some of my family members were what we call nominal Christians. They knew Jesus was their Savior, but they didn't know much beyond that. I was led by the Spirit of God never to mention anything to them about salvation—and that leading extended to other relatives like aunts, uncles, and cousins.
One way the Holy Spirit leads us is by an inward witness or inward conviction. I just had the conviction in my spirit that if my relatives saw reality in my life, they would all want it. (That's true in the natural realm too. If you know somebody has a good recipe, for example, you want it.)
According to the Word of God, "Bodily exercise profiteth little: but GODLINESSS IS PROFITABLE unto all things" (1 Tim. 4:8). "Profitable" means that it pays off. Paul continued in verse 15, "Meditate upon these things . . . that thy profiting may appear to all."
So I never said one word about the Lord to any of my close relatives, and I never asked any of them to be saved. Why? I was led not to. I knew in my spirit that I shouldn't.
Don't Nag
Too often people nag their unsaved loved ones until they don't even like you to be around them. Through the years when we went to family Thanksgiving or Christmas get-togethers, I tried to enter into their normal activities and games.
Before I was converted and began to preach, my family never prayed at the table. But afterward, they always asked me to say grace. I never said anything else to them.
But one thing about it: through the years, every one of them got born again!
I have noticed that the two most common mistakes people make in dealing with their families are these: (1) They try to be super-spiritual, and (2) They overdo witnessing.
Yes, the Bible teaches witnessing, but you have to realize that there's an old proverb that says, "What you are speaks so loud I can't hear what you say." People who do a lot of talking may not have enough life to back up their witness.
I just let my life witness—and my relatives eventually all wanted the Lord. They saw something in my life that they wanted. I think that's the greatest witness, actually. If you live the Christian life in front of people, it will influence your spouse, your children, and your other relatives.
[Editor's Note: This article was adapted from the book Ministering to Your Family by Kenneth E. Hagin and Kenneth W. Hagin.]